Master post of the last nine Ordinary Batman Adventures. (More to come!)
Anyone have a particular favorite?
One time Lauren and I invented an improv game called “Batman Pretends to be Something Else.” The rules were:
1) get a suggestion from the audience of an occupation (do not take the suggestion “very rich, shadowy, orphaned vigilante”)
2) one person in the scene is Batman, but he is pretending to be the suggested occupation and doesn’t want to be found out
3) make a LOT of Batman-related puns
Best Friend: Tony Stark (Awwww yeeaaahhh!!)
Lover: Loki (LIKE A BOSS.)
First Kiss: Thor (I am okay with this.)
Enemy: Captain America. (;A;)
Cockblocked By: Captain America.
Killed By: Captain America.
WELL FUCK YOU, CAPTAIN AMERICA!
I still love you though.
My best friend, enemy, and cockblocker are all Black Widow. WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT, NATASHA?? WE USED TO BE FRIENDS!!Lover: LOKI AWWWWWWW YEAH!
First Kiss: Captain America. Whelp, we all gotta start somewhere.
Killed by: Hawkeye! This is all Natasha’s doing! NATASHA WHYYYYYYYYYY??
I got Captain America for EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Except when I was dragging “enemy” it started off as Bruce BUT THEN CHANGED TO CAP.
…somehow I blame Loki.
(Source: starkbannerandrogers)
this happened to me once. so embarrassing, the shopkeeper had to come help me get it over my boobs again.
One time something similar to me happened but instead of asking a shopkeeper for help, I used my car key to rip open the shirt along the seam and then I hid it somewhere in the store and exited very quickly. I have never returned to that store.
About two weeks later I was recounting this tale to some friends and one of them said, “Was it a purple leopard-print shirt?” and I said, “Yes,” and she said, “THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME IN THE SAME SHIRT.”
The shirt is clearly a trap.
(Source: thefuuuucomics)
Heart bokeh North Park (View in High-res)
THIS
IS
WHERE
I
LIVE
NOW
and in five days my life has already gotten a bajillion times better.
(via thisissandiego)
Omg I need more friends STAT.
Who wants to be my pizza friend?
SCREAMING
YES
NEED.
Facebook advertising, I take back everything bad I have ever said about you.
actual idea from cosmopolitan magazine
um. if theres a donut around you can be damn sure i am not paying attention to a penis.
uh….. really? Cosmo, come on…. SERIOUSLY?
If I a) currently had a regular sexual partner and b) was just a little bolder, I would start a blog dedicated to trying the ridiculous sex tips Cosmo publishes every month and reviewing them on a ridiculous-o-meter.
Something similar to this idea MUST exist in this world already. Come on, internet. Don’t fail me now.
(Source: hellomynameissteph)
explosionswoo asked: Hey girl. I like your new layout.
oh hey thanks! I like your face! I like your new house! OH WAIT THAT’S MY NEW HOUSE TOO
HOLY SHIT ALLY
ROOMMATES
OH THANK FUCK IT’S FINALLY HERE
Mira Mesa, CA
Reppin’ that Mira Mesa business! Good shit, Maddie! I used to live around the corner from there (if that is Mira Mesa High School which I think it is).
I had to buy a gun holster as a prop for work this week and my dad decided to be helpful by emailing me this photo and a link to this real, honest-to-God product which exists for sale in this real world.
And then I made the mistake of actually clicking the link and oh, god, the product description!
“Although a larger bust line makes concealment a breeze, simply choosing a shirt with a pattern, or wearing a shirt with a bunch of fullness allows even a lady with a very athletic physique to comfortably conceal her firearm on her body.” Fashion tips, NRA style!
“Because of the way the Flashbang Holster is made, the trigger guard is fully covered until the gun is pulled away from the body while at the same time allowing her a full combat grip on her weapon. This technique also presents the attacker with a major distraction (FLASH) while allowing the lady to access and utilize her defensive weapon (BANG!).” - Thank goodness, they explained the joke!
Flash - you flash your attacker, who will be rendered so completely useless at the site of your decidedly unladylike BARE MIDRIFF (the scandal!) that you will be able to easily SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!
BANG!! ;)
